Time for another fashion blog update. I simply saw too much horrible atrocities in Bali to not comment. It started with the Aussies at the club. Dudes were sagging their jeans, or all too often, their swim trunks or their jorts, like its 19 motherfucking 95. C’mon Australia.
More guys that need to go - white guys with Jew-fros that are clearly gentiles. It tends to always be freakishly tall dudes, and they tend to all have reddish hair. I don’t think Ronald McDonald spends much time with the Torah, and neither do these fuckwads. Get a haircut.
People on vacation really need to give careful thought to tattoos, particularly the ladies, since dudes look bad wither way. In Kuta, there’s a tattoo parlor on every corner cause, you know, nothing says clean and safe like Indonesia.
Tank tops - fellas - never if you are over 10 years old. Never. The only exception is if you are actually on a basketball team with enough clout to provide uniforms, bur even then, you should never wear them off the court. There is no way for a dude to wear a tank top without looking like an asshole or a fucking dumbass.
I sometimes wonder why they make girls’ tank tops and sundresses in the enormous sizes that I see worn by enormous white girls on vacation. I guess larger black girls and Hispanic girls can pull this look off a but better. Larger Asian girls would never try.
Korean Girls abroad - what’s with the swimsuits? You can spot a Korean girl on the Bali beach or pool from 100 yards, because they will be wearing a bikini top with shorts or a skirt rather than bikini bottoms. How is it that a group of girls that dress so well in street clothes and have mastered the art of wearing short skirts in the winter dress more modestly than a Bulgarian grandmother at the beach or pool? K girls, if you want to join the fashion ranks of the Japanese girls, Brazilian girls and French girls, you gotta bring your A game to the water.
In closing, though this has nothing to do with fashion - I hope to never hear that “Tonight’s gonna be a good night” song ever again. Clubs: it’s run its course.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Saturday, December 19, 2009
December (winter season)
I have three matters to discuss this evening.
First and foremost - leggings. I saw a couple friends of mine (girls, or course) on Facebook joined a group called "leggings are not pants" - the point of the group is to emphasize that leggings should only be worn under skirts or whatever. Horeshit. Leggings are pants. Leggings seem to be the big trend this winter, at least here in Seoul. Wearing leggings under a skit or dress is essentially the same as wearing jeans under a skirt or dress - lame. Leggings are pants. Pants and skirts are not combinable in the same outfit. Choose a fucking side, or at minimum, choose a fucking outfit.
Second - glasses. Glasses are to be used (pay close attention here, hipsters) for one purpose and one purpose only - if you can't fucking see. I got drunk at the bar last night and took to stealing glasses (something I have a history of doing) and found that, in my unscientific random sample, one of every three pairs of glasses are there solely for fashion. Glasses aren't fashionable. Glasses are for nerds. Nerds aren't cool. They only time people should where glasses is if they're too poor to get corrective surgery.
Finally - the 90s. As in the Witter Style. I'm bringing it back, singlehandedly if I have to. Wearing a long sleeve collared shirt with a cool (non-white, non-ironic) T shirt is an awesome look. Not as awesome as girls wearing midriff shirts, but as awesome a look somebody can pull off while at the same time being a dude. Follow me here. I'm right.
First and foremost - leggings. I saw a couple friends of mine (girls, or course) on Facebook joined a group called "leggings are not pants" - the point of the group is to emphasize that leggings should only be worn under skirts or whatever. Horeshit. Leggings are pants. Leggings seem to be the big trend this winter, at least here in Seoul. Wearing leggings under a skit or dress is essentially the same as wearing jeans under a skirt or dress - lame. Leggings are pants. Pants and skirts are not combinable in the same outfit. Choose a fucking side, or at minimum, choose a fucking outfit.
Second - glasses. Glasses are to be used (pay close attention here, hipsters) for one purpose and one purpose only - if you can't fucking see. I got drunk at the bar last night and took to stealing glasses (something I have a history of doing) and found that, in my unscientific random sample, one of every three pairs of glasses are there solely for fashion. Glasses aren't fashionable. Glasses are for nerds. Nerds aren't cool. They only time people should where glasses is if they're too poor to get corrective surgery.
Finally - the 90s. As in the Witter Style. I'm bringing it back, singlehandedly if I have to. Wearing a long sleeve collared shirt with a cool (non-white, non-ironic) T shirt is an awesome look. Not as awesome as girls wearing midriff shirts, but as awesome a look somebody can pull off while at the same time being a dude. Follow me here. I'm right.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
October (fall season)
Korean fashion. where to start?
Tattoos have long been illegal here. They legalized them a few months ago, so now there's a tattoo parlor on every corner. I don't know where this will lead, but I'm looking forward to it because I know it will be funny. I wonder if they'll start out with 1940s anchor/mermaid style, or just go straight to mid-90s tribal/barb wire bullshit. Either way, I'm excited.
Daisy Dukes have come to Korea. In typical Korean zeal, not in a casual way, but in a way that its not unusual to see a girl in Daisy Dukes in a decidedly un-hip local bar on a Wednesday night on a 53 degree October night. I am absolutely in favor of this development. It almost makes up for the worldwide lack of midriff shirts. Almost.
Now, for your amusement, hilarious T-shirts that I saw on sail recently (although, for full disclosure, this wasn't in Seoul but in a podunk town outside of it). Also, they were selling these shirts at the grocery store, but in this particular podunk town, it seemed to be the most fashionable store in town.
Tattoos have long been illegal here. They legalized them a few months ago, so now there's a tattoo parlor on every corner. I don't know where this will lead, but I'm looking forward to it because I know it will be funny. I wonder if they'll start out with 1940s anchor/mermaid style, or just go straight to mid-90s tribal/barb wire bullshit. Either way, I'm excited.
Daisy Dukes have come to Korea. In typical Korean zeal, not in a casual way, but in a way that its not unusual to see a girl in Daisy Dukes in a decidedly un-hip local bar on a Wednesday night on a 53 degree October night. I am absolutely in favor of this development. It almost makes up for the worldwide lack of midriff shirts. Almost.
Now, for your amusement, hilarious T-shirts that I saw on sail recently (although, for full disclosure, this wasn't in Seoul but in a podunk town outside of it). Also, they were selling these shirts at the grocery store, but in this particular podunk town, it seemed to be the most fashionable store in town.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Launch Party
I am starting this hear fashion blog because I feel I'm uniquely qualified in my total lack of knowledge in the fashion world. From the outset, I will promise this - my knowledge of fashion will never increase. I will never read other fashion blogs or other material to improve this one. I will, when possible, add pictures to accentuate my points, but only my own so that the images will match the words in their lack of quality and insight.
The primary goal of this blog? Bringing back midriff tops (female only, sorry Korea) I don't know when they went out of style, and I certainly don't remember being consulted on the matter, but I am of the opinion that they never stopped being awesome and should return tomorrow.
Though I came up with the idea for this blog in New York on the Lower East Side (okay, Chinatown), my first entry will focus on that other American fashion capital, the Florida beaches. Not South Beach, mind you, but the considerably less chichi beaches of St. Petersburg.
This beach scene, much like hipster Brooklyn, is drowning in tattoo ink. While both locales swarm with young white people sporting ink, and while the quantity of body modifications seem to be the same (ie, literally everybody under 25 has a/many tattoos), the gulf in quality is substantial. For example, amongst the waves of roaming douchebags on Treasure Island Beach, a high percentage (say 80) are rocking tribal, celtic, and barb-wire styles. Given that most of these beach dwellers are 22 or so, and that tattoos of the aforementioned style haven’t been socially acceptable since 1998, it means they actually got these ridiculous styles, like, recently. That, or they get tattoos when they were 12. It is Florida, so this would hardly be surprising.
Though I generally plan to focus on the ladies in this blog, I have to address the dudes at this beach. After all, I had no problem with what the chicks were wearing. A number of dudes were wearing, uh, extrememly low-cut swim trunks. Fellas, trying to show off the top of your wang is not a good look. The super low cut shit works on girls because girls are attractive, and girls don’t have packages. Chest waxing is acceptable for the following groups: hirsute women and homosexuals. “Body spray” is acceptable for the following groups: females, and, when called cologne, Tom Selleck.
The primary goal of this blog? Bringing back midriff tops (female only, sorry Korea) I don't know when they went out of style, and I certainly don't remember being consulted on the matter, but I am of the opinion that they never stopped being awesome and should return tomorrow.
Though I came up with the idea for this blog in New York on the Lower East Side (okay, Chinatown), my first entry will focus on that other American fashion capital, the Florida beaches. Not South Beach, mind you, but the considerably less chichi beaches of St. Petersburg.
This beach scene, much like hipster Brooklyn, is drowning in tattoo ink. While both locales swarm with young white people sporting ink, and while the quantity of body modifications seem to be the same (ie, literally everybody under 25 has a/many tattoos), the gulf in quality is substantial. For example, amongst the waves of roaming douchebags on Treasure Island Beach, a high percentage (say 80) are rocking tribal, celtic, and barb-wire styles. Given that most of these beach dwellers are 22 or so, and that tattoos of the aforementioned style haven’t been socially acceptable since 1998, it means they actually got these ridiculous styles, like, recently. That, or they get tattoos when they were 12. It is Florida, so this would hardly be surprising.
Though I generally plan to focus on the ladies in this blog, I have to address the dudes at this beach. After all, I had no problem with what the chicks were wearing. A number of dudes were wearing, uh, extrememly low-cut swim trunks. Fellas, trying to show off the top of your wang is not a good look. The super low cut shit works on girls because girls are attractive, and girls don’t have packages. Chest waxing is acceptable for the following groups: hirsute women and homosexuals. “Body spray” is acceptable for the following groups: females, and, when called cologne, Tom Selleck.
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